Farewell Heero
by nauta iupiter
Summary: This is my angsty persona/muse, Leo. Death and insanity warning!


Title: "Farewell Heero"  
Part: 1/1  
Author: Leo  
Archived: Not up yet  
Warnings: Death, dementia, angst, POV  
Pairings: 1x2, 3x4  
Rating: R  
Disclaimer: don't own them, don't claim to, don't sue  
Notes: Happy Birthday Misuzu!!! Here's the angsty fic we promised! I   
hope you enjoy! The other fic should be coming soon, and as for the   
pic, still working!  
  
"Farewell Heero"  
  
I don't like it here. It's so white and bleak. Extremely depressing.   
The other pilots seem to be avoiding me ever since we came to this   
new safehourse, ever since that day, the day you died....  
  
//flashback//  
  
He's gone.   
  
I can't belive he's gone. I can't believe I'll never see those   
prussian eyes, with those secret smiles just for me, again.   
  
Why did you leave me? WHY? You promised me.  
  
Don't worry, I won't cry. Boys don't cry.  
  
It's getting dark now. The sun has set but the stars aren't up. The   
world is so eerily still. It's like it just stopped, for you.  
  
I can feel the cold wind nipping at my chest, even beneith my black   
jacket; it stings and claws it's way against the smooth flesh until   
it burns. But I don't mind, it's nothing compared to losing you.   
  
The dirt is still fresh here, atop your grave. See, I can move it   
with my foot? No, of course you can't see, you're gone... forever.  
  
My fingers begin to toy with the silver chain around my neck,   
unconciously clasping my cold metal cross, cold like I imagine your   
hand would be now. What I wouldn't give to warm it for you.  
  
I'm not very religious, but I would be, for you. Only for you. You   
were my god, my entire world.   
  
Quatre is calling me away now, telling me I'll chatch my death in   
this cold. Is that so bad? Me dying. I don't think I'd mind if it   
meant I could somehow see you again.   
  
No. You wouldn't want that. I must live for the sake of gaining   
peace. Everything for the mission, right?  
  
Guess I'd better go, but wait for me. I'll be back.   
  
---  
  
Two days have passed, and I still miss you. I miss you more than ever   
now as I lie here, awake in my lonely bed. I miss your warmth, your   
smell, you unruley bangs. I miss the way you'd hold me when I had   
another nightmare. I miss the way you'd watch over me in every fight,   
like a guardian angel. Most of all, I miss your touch, how you'd pour   
your love into me in such a simple caress.  
  
You were so quite, yet so eloquent in your own way. Your touch was   
enough to tell me how you feel. Even if you had found the words, even   
if you swore your love on high, I don't think I would have ever   
understood just how much you loved me.  
  
---  
  
It's so lonely here. Did I tell you that?   
  
The other pilots locked the door. I think they are scared to let me   
go out and fight. I think they are scared of who I will kill. Can't   
really blaim them, who'd want to fuck with a PO'd pilot who isn't   
affraid of death?   
  
---  
  
Hey, it's me.  
  
You know, sometimes, in the middle of the night, I reach out to the   
braid that isn't there, just as I'd reach out for you.  
  
Oh, did I not tell you? I chopped it off. Yep, did it the day you   
died.   
  
I know how much you loved my hair, it just seemed like a fitting   
tribute. Besides, I don't want anyone else to see it or touch it. It   
belonged to you, so now it is with you, forever.  
  
---  
  
That strange man's back again, insisting on making me take some   
stupid blue pill. I don't like it. It messes me up.   
  
He says it's to help me, make me better, make me sane again.   
  
I think HE's the one who's crazy! Can you believe it, he called me   
Heero the other day.   
  
HEERO?!   
  
Ha. Ha. Doesn't he know that your dead, burried six feet under? That   
your rotting flesh is being eaten, even as we speak, by thousands of   
tiny worms?  
  
Ha. Ha. Poor guy's flipped!  
  
I tried to calmy corrected him, but he just ignored me and shoved   
those damn pills down my throat. How dare he fuck with Shinigami!   
He'll pay for this! But not now, no not now.  
  
The white room is starting to blirr again, and I can feel my binding   
jacket chaffing my skin. Guess I'd better go.  
  
I love you... Heer... Duo.  
  
~*~Fin~*~  
  
Notes: Yes, that was Heero the whole time. And yes, Duo is the one   
who died. He just couldn't handle it and slowly began to replace Duo   
the only way he could, by becoming him (and thus why he's in the   
crazy house). That's also why at the grave it really could have been   
either Heero or Duo's POV, but slowly it became clear that it was   
Heero who was supposively dead, for in a way he was. I mean, in a   
twisted way, Duo lives on in Heero and the Heero persona died.   
Strange, ne? Hope you liked, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISUZU!!!!!!!!!   
  
  



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